The Sacrifice by Nhys Glover

Author:Nhys Glover [Glover, Nhys]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Belisama Press
Published: 2017-08-05T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

I was not sure what to expect the next day. Anger, resentment, jealousy, or worse: hurt. There was none of any of those emotions. The three brothers simply looked at me with concern until I smiled and nodded. Then there was relief. Had they really been worried Rama would hurt me?

While I helped Jaron prepare the meal to break our fast I contemplated ways I could improve my cooking skills. I also wanted enough material to make another tunic. Three tunics left one of my men without one I had made myself.

I wished I could turn my jewellery into coin.

But could I not, now? If we sent a note to my father saying what Darkin had suggested, my ruby could be exchanged for coin. Everyone knew who I was now.

Jaron seemed to find opportunities to touch me. A stroke of the hand, a slide of body against body. I frowned at him.

"How are you handling me being with Rama?" I asked after the fifth such caress.

"Now I know he didn't hurt you, fine. Do I wish it'd been me, aye. Do I resent either of you taking pleasure with the other, nay. Rama needs to feel loved. Of us all, he needs that the most."

"Love? I... I would not call what we did love."

He tipped his head to the side as he stared at me disbelievingly. "I saw his face this morning. He looked younger than he has in years. Even before he was taken prisoner. A simple roll in the hay couldn't do that for him. There's something about you, Airsha. Something all of us feel, but can't put into words. You're like a piece of us that was missing and is now found.

"And, aye, it's not unusual for a man to feel that way. 'Though knowing he's one of four men feeling it, probably is. Being brothers makes the difference, I think. We've shared women before. Not like this, of course. Not when our hearts were involved. But we've discovered, over the years, that the petty jealousies and competitiveness that other brothers seem to experience don't plague us. Ever since we were young we've been all we had. Us against the world. One unit.

"Now you've come along and become part of us. Like Ma used to be. That isn't as wrong as it sounds. I mean, Ma loved us all equally. None of us felt left out. What time she could give us, she shared equally. The hole she left was huge. Now you've come to us, loving us. All of us. Not in the way Ma did, but in the way that makes us feel... whole. Like men. Does that make any sense? I said it was hard to put into words."

I stroked a hand down his arm and pressed my head to his shoulder. "That is what it feels like to me too. I never felt... accepted before. Loved, yes. But accepted for the boyish, questioning girl I was? No. It felt like I was loved despite who I was.

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